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Giving children what they need during and after a divorce

The end of a marriage often comes with a great deal of emotional fallout. Each of the parties struggles to deal with their feelings while negotiating a divorce settlement to be approved by a California court. Deciding how to best give the children what they need both during and after the divorce can take the focus off the couple's problems and put it onto how to be the best parents possible under the circumstances.

Children crave stability and security. During a divorce, it can be difficult for them to feel safe, secure and loved -- especially if their parents are so focused on destroying each other instead of figuring out how to meet the children's needs. A parenting plan can outline how the children's lives will be structured. Some parents include their children in the decisions, which can give them at least some sense of control over what is happening to them in what they might otherwise feel is chaos.

A parenting plan can be about much more than a custody and visitation schedule. It can also outline a set of agreed upon rules that each household will follow. This can give the children stability and security since they know what to expect regardless of whose house they are at on any given day. It can also reduce the number of potential conflicts between the parents, which will make everyone happier.

A divorce is challenging for the whole family. It can help to realize from the start that the family will remain regardless of whether the couple is married or divorced. California parents will always be bound by their children, and it is in everyone's best interest for them to find a way to move forward as a family even if they are no longer married.

Source: CBS Miami, "How To Co-Parent After A Divorce", Wendy Paris, March 21, 2016

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